Cracked Soul
by Hollow Ichigo-Ichigo
Summary: Companion to Shattered Angel. After Ichigo finds an amnesiac albino, Ogichi Shirosaki, he feels like it's a second chance to do something right. As they grow up, an accident causes him to be fearful of love, especially love from his friend. But when he learns Ogichi's secret, will he have the courage to help him, regardless of his fear and the danger? Crappy summary...HichiIchi !
1. Prologue

Authoress note~!

For DivineImmortality's sake, Ima start this right away! :3 Now, there _will_ be some scenes not in Shattered Angel, but that's just to keep it fresh yah's? The main plot chappies will remain, promise. I'm doing this for the doujinshi, to add a bit more flesh to it. So without further ado, the prologue to Cracked Soul~! (please note that both prologues obviously take place at different times, Ichigo's after Shiro died)

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_What can I say? What can I do? This is who I am and I'm hurting you...-What Can I Say by Dead By April_

Prologue

If I had known I loved him, things could've been different.

They say fear clouds one's judgement, and I can testify to that. Fear made me do something stupid...so fucking stupid. I've been making a lot of stupid things lately, none of them I'm proud of. Sometimes, I swaer I'm only good at breaking and losing things...especially those I care about.

My name's Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm 18, about to graduate with my friends...minus one. Minus...Shirosaki. Thinking about him hurts my heart, makes my wrists itch again. Ogichi Shirosaki...was my closest friend. Pale white skin, gold on black eyes. We were both outcasts in a sense, maybe that's why we were so close.

Close enough to fall in love with each other that is. But like I had said, I'm fucking stupid...dense too. I mean, who else sees that they're in love _after_ the person they love is dead? Obviously stupid fucking me. I know, I keep saying I'm stupid...but what do you expect? Doesn't this seem stupid? I feel stupid...blind, like wandering in the dark with no flashlight, and a thousand hands waiting to grab you, drag you deeper down into the pits of despair. That's how  
I feel, how I still feel.

But it didn't start this way...well it sorta did. When my mother had died, I felt the same way. I felt it enough to want to end my life...at such a young age too. But then I met...err, rather found...him. I found Ogichi Shirosaki. Then my world, and my cracked heart, were never the same again.

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Prologue end

Note that this is a companion to Shatterefd Angel. It can be read first or second, it doesn't matter. :3 Yes, Ichigo's a bit hard on himself, but can you blame him? O.o so, reviews?


	2. Chapter 1 Discovery September 22nd 2003

Response to reviews~!

Well we can get this one rolling nows~! :3 Here's the first official chappie~!

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_He was fragile, and frozen. When a bullet took away his friend and now he's somehow, more broken...- Across The Line by Linkin Park_

I had sunken to a very low point in life, when I was young. My mother died protecting me from some men who wanted to rape me, and she had been shot and stabbed. I...I had done nothing, and I had been so afraid. I hated myself for it all...which led me to the cuts on my wrists, and a night in the cold, harsh rain during late autum. That was when I found him.

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Chapter 1: Discovery: September 22nd, 2003

The rain pelted hard against my small, slightly skinny frame as I pulled the oversized coat around myself. The gauze around my wrists were getting damp and sticky. M...Mommy...I sniffled in the rain as it came down. I noted vaguley that the river had risen a lot, but my focus was on the bridge. I had planned on jumping into the fridged river from high above. As I walked, something near the banks shifted and I looked down. In the shadows, a boy my age seemed to stumble around. He slipped and cried out and I moved forward a bit. "Hey, is someone there? !" I wanted to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

"I...I'm...here..." The voice that reached me was weak, and it sounded like the boy never spoke before. I stiffined when I saw his pale, snoy skin and long, muddy hair, some red mixked in with dirty white.

_An albino...and he's hurt..._ I thought and began to move forwad.

"Stop!" I froze as his voice came to me, fearful and shaky. He was backing away a bit, and my eyes widened.

He'll fall in! "I...I just wanna help you...you look hurt..." I said as calmly as I could, but he continued to back away, hands in front of him. He then slipped and the water seemed to drag him in. I wasted no time in throwing my coat off and diving in. The water tore at my clothes and flesh, chilling me straight down to my core. I could just barely make out his pale form and I grabbed his wrist. I felt thin fingers grip in reply and I swam back to the surface and dragged us onto the bank. I ran my hand through his hair and grabbed my coat to drape it over his shivering body. "You feel like ice..."

"C...c-c-old..." I looked and saw his eyes droop and I shook him lightly, trying to keep him awake. I shushed him and looked around, hoping to see people walking near the bridge.

"N-no you can't sleep!" I said, keeping my hands on his face. "Here...what's your name? Tell me your name!" I looked down at his trembling lips, which were slowly turning blue. No...this isn't good!

"O...Ogich-chi...Sh-irosak-k-k-ki..." He managed to get out, his body trembling to stay warm. I wrapped him up tighter, desperate to get him warm.

"Ok...and your parents-I need help over here!" I shouted. His eyes opened a bit wider, but in the dark I couldn't see what they looked like.

"D...d-d-don't re-rem-remem-" His heartrate had sped up briefly, he was going into shock.

"Ok, that's fine, I need you to calm down ok?" I told him. I looked at him and his eyes widened briefly, long enough for me to see them. He was albino, yet his eyes weren't that off shade of red.

They were gold and black...and stunning. His eyes then rolled into his head and I continued shouting until I saw my dad in the ambulance. He rushed down the slope and picked Ogichi up, asking me a million things. But all that ran through my head was one thought. _I saved him...do you forgive me Mommy?_

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"You got to him before this pneumonia could develope further." My dad said to me as I stared at the pale, still shivering boy. I was wrapped in a warm blanket, put into my pajama's. Ogichi was buried under blankets, the oxygen mask that had been on him was off now. "You did good Ichigo."

"But...I thought you hated me..." I whispered. "Because of me, Mommy's-" He hugged me tightly and I started to cry.

"Ichigo, I've never blamed you for that. You were scared, but you know what? Your mother was scared of losing you...she did what she felt she had to to protect you." My dad said. "Maybe she did it so you could help this boy." I looked past my dad to see the albino laying there and sniffed.

"You...you think so?"

"Of course. Masaki was always like that, and you're her son to the core." He ruffled my hair and I smacked his hand away. "Get some sleep Ichigo...you can visit him tomorrow." He ushered me up the stairs and I slowly slid into my bed.

"Mommy...thank you." I whispered as I closed my eyes. "I miss you..."

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I was sitting next to Ogichi when he stirred slightly. His abnormal eyes fluttered open and I smiled. "You're awake again..." At my voice, he turned and looked at the wall.

"Y-yeah..."

"Hey, it isn't polite to look away when someone's talking to you, you know." I teased, hoping to get him to reply or look back at me. He did look at me, but his eyes were shut. I huffed and flicked the spot above his eye with stitches.

"Ouch!"

"C'mon, I have no right to judge anything. My hair's orange for god's sakes." As his eyes opened, I couldn't help but look into them in awe. "See? Wasn't too hard huh?"

"Uhh...I'm sorry."

"Dad said you hit your head real hard... you've got five stitches right above your right eye." He glared at me, those golden eyes seemed to shine with annoyance.

"Then why flick me there?" He asked me gruffly.

"Cause it'd get your attention." I smiled. But seeing his slightly confused face, I continued. "My dad said he was gonna ask around, see if your family's nearby. If not...he said he'd call family services." I shifted in my seat a bit. "But...I hear awful stories about foster homes and stuff..."

"I'll be ok..." he whispered, yet sounded a bit uncertain to me. "But thanks for...worrying." When I looked at him, he seemed confused and very much...well alone. I held my hand out to him and he gave it a puzzled stare.

"My name is Ichigo Kurosaki." He looked at my hand and I sighed. "What? If we shake hands, that makes us friends."

"Friends?" The very word seemed foregin to him, and I felt my chest bubble with pity.

"You've never had a friend before?" He shook his head 'no'. "then...i'll be your best friend!" He looked at me with shocked golden eyes.

"Best...best friend?"

"Yeah, they do everything together!" I told him happily. "I don't have a best friend yet...and you're only supposed to have one: my friend Renji told me that." I held my hand out a little higher. "So...we'll be best friends!"

"A friend...sounds nice." He seemed to contemplate it a bit before taking my hand in his cooler one. "i'm Ogichi Shirosaki...but...call me Shiro." I grinned and nodded and he had a light smile on his face.

"We'll be best friends forever right?" I asked him and he gave me a full out smile.

"Yeah...forever." He said. He yawned and laid down, quickly falling asleep.

_I must've worn him out..._I thought. I took quick peeks around before crawling in the bed next to him, also falling asleep just as a small 'click' sounded behind me. _Stupid...goat face..._was my last thought.

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Now when I look back on it, I could've easily fallen in love then and there. I really don't know when I did. But the next time I'd see Shiro...it wasn't pleasant.

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Chapter 1 end

Woohoo~! Finally done~! so reviews pwease?


	3. Chapter 2: Comfort Zone

Response to reviews~!

And now...back ta this~! :D (you are beyond epic if you recognize what anime this song is from. I pray the site I got these translations from is correct.)

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_Deai ni iro wa nakute MONOKURO fikunukeru. Itami goto kimi yudanemashou... (the Monochrome blows through our colorless encounter. I shall entrust each of my pains to you...) Monochrome No Kiss by SID_

He was quiet...that's really my first impression of Ogichi Shirosaki. His eyes had this...lifeless look to them, more than mine did believe it or not. Perhaps it was the loss of memories, the potential loss of loved ones from his now empty mind. Who's to say? We were both young, and had experienced tragedy in some way. We both couldn't cope alone...but we were too small to learn that until...the day I decided to take him to see her...My mom.

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Chapter 2: Comfort Zone

He was sitting at our dining room table, eating slowly with bandaged hands. A cut on his palm had needed stitches. He was fiddling with his fork, making my little sister, Yuzu, a bit anxious. "You...need to eat Shiro." She whispered. "It'll help you feel better."

"...I know that." He whispered quietly. "And it's good, really. I...I just...don't think I can stomach it right now." He finished, getting up and walking upstairs. I smiled and ruffled Yuzu's short brown hair and followed after the pale boy, only to see him curled under my covers, crying again.

"Sh-Shiro?"

"Why...can't I remember Ichigo?" He asked. "All...all I can remember are words...harsh, nasty words..." He whined and I crawled next to him. It was our way of comforting each other. We both suffered nightmares, but the difference was that I remembered mine...he couldn't. It bothered him so much. But then again, I wasn't exactly open with my own past to him either.

It was like...there was this solid, glass wall between us. I could see him, he see me, but the visions were warped and we couldn't hear each other. I wanted to hear him, see him clearly. But more than that...I wanted him to see and hear _me._ I couldn't explain it, but I felt we were bound somehow, and it was my job to find a way to reach through his insecure shell. Tsk, Dad's right, I need to quit thinking like an adult. "Ichigo?"

"Hmm?"

"I...I wanna go to the cemetary." He turned to look at me, eyes watery. "To...see if there's someone there with my last name." His eyes, briefly, held a spark of life I didn't remember seeing before and I smiled and nodded.

"Sure. Best friends do that kinda thing." I smiled when he did, burying himself close to me. It felt comfortable...right, that we were as close as we were together.

"Thanks Ichigo." He said before falling asleep. I just smiled and curled closer, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

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Twitching and whimpering woke me up. I saw Shiro's face scrunched in pain, his fingers twitching and legs jerking. I shook him until his eyes snapped open, breathing heavily. It was one of his lesser nightmares, not nearly bad as one where he screams out and sounds like he's in agony. "You ok?" I asked him and he nodded. I looked outside, seeing a night sky with no clouds. "Hey...you wanna go to the cemetary now?"

"You mean...sneak in?" he asked and I nodded. "I'm all for it! It'll be spooky." He gave me a genuine smile and I couldn't help but turn slightly red.

_His smile makes me...squishy inside..._ I thought and we both snuck out of the bed. He put on some clothes my Dad had given him. He slipped the sweater and sweat pants on as I put on my jacket and shorts. I was in such a rush that I tied my shoes wrong but I didn't care. "We can get to the tree outside my window! I've done this before!"

"Really?"

"Loads of times!" I smiled. In reality, I'd only done it once. We opened the window and I could smell rain in the air. He crawled out first, just barely reaching the thick branch that streatched out towards my window. He climbed towards the trunk as I followed, but my foot slipped and he just barely caught my arm. "Th-thanks."

"Watch it silly." He smirked. He hoisted me up like there wasn't an issue. We climbed down the rest of the way and I grabbed his cool, pale hand. He twitched a bit when I did, but I just smiled. "Friends do this too?"

"Yup! So, let's go!" We walked down the dark streets like this, and for the first time, I heard him laughing.

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When we got there, we searched for a grave for sometime, but we found nothing with his name. "Maybe no one's died yet?" I said, trying to cheer him up a bit. He shrugged, acted like it didn't bug him, but I could tell it did. "C'mon Shiro, we gotta-" I was cut off as a loud crack of thunder peeled across the sky. "Oh no..." I felt myself shake a bit as the rain started to pour. We ran as fast as we could into the woods, seeking for a dry place. We were both tripping and stumbling through thick brush and getting scratched up by the trees.

"Over there!" I turned as he tugged me along and we found shelter in a small cave. "I wonder if there's a bear in here..."

"Doubt it. You'd scare it off." I chuckled and he grinned. He started barking for no reason and when I looked at him we both laughed.

"No bear!"

"No bear." We sat at the entrance of the cavern, Shiro sighing as the rain fell. "I hate the rain..."

"Why?"

"The rain's sad, gray and dull." I muttered. "It reminds me of...unhappy times." Shiro crawled closer to me, our little bodies shaking from the cold and rain.

"I think rain washes away sad things. So when the clouds part, happy things happen...like a rainbow." He grinned.

"Really? A rainbow?"

"Yup!" He grinned. "they're pretty and happy. And filled with lotsa colors! Like orange!" He smiled. "you're...kinda like my rainbow." I gave him a funny look. "I think...it's a waste, for me to try and get my memories back again. I think...making happier ones is the best choice."

"...Yeah." i nodded. We watched the rain fall until we fell asleep in the caveren.

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When the sun rose and hit my face, I heard Shiro mumble my name and we stirred, rain water dripping lightly from above. "C'mon...we gotta go home."

"Mmmgh...five more seconds..."

"Now Shiro." I laughed. As we stretched and looked at ourselves, all scratched up and muddy. "We look like shit."

"But more colorful." He chuckled. We walked through the woods for over an hour, trying to find our way to the cemetary. when we did, I recognized the area and tugged on Shiro's arm.

"I...wanna show you something." I said, tugging him towards a large tombstone. On it was my mother's name. We stared at it before he grabbed my hand, his fingers wrapping around my own. "My mommy...she saved me from nasty people who wanted to hurt me real bad." He laid his head on my shoulder as my voice trembled. "I...I killed her..."

"No ya didn't." He said quietly. "_They_ did. She saved you so you could save me." He said. I looked at him.

"I wanna believe that." I said. He then stood on the big rock next to her tombstone and held his hands up in the air.

"Ichigo's mommy! I'm his best friend Ogichi Shirosaki! And i promise to protect him, like he protected me!" I laughed at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Telling your Ma not to worry, that I'll watch ya so she can rest easy. You saved me...so I'll be there ta save ya someday." I smiled as he jumped down as my Dad and sisters ran up to us. We all hugged each other as my sisters cried and Dad scolded us. It felt funny; like Shiro had been apart of our family for a long time, like he was my older brother.

That day...he was my brother, my comfort zone.

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After that, so many things happened to us. I was...raped and he brutalized, he gained a brother and we grew up. Our story really begins in our last year of high school though. When he died, and rose again, like an Angel should.

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Chapter 2 end

Whew got it! now, if you'll listen please to what I'm gonna say. My good friend, Rainbowmanvan, is planning on leaving this site, and her reason given to me is decent. She makes amazing GrimmIchi fics, yet even i'm upset that she receives little to no recognition for the great work she does. If anyone's read Dusk and Dawn by her, then you'd understand why i'm upset.

I'm asking all of you to go, read her fics, and help me bring her back here! This message is a bit past her deadline, but it's here all the same. I'm tired of seeing great authors leave the site because no one gives them the recognition they deserve. i'm not a great author compared to her or any of them, and yet I have lotsa people following me. why that is, i'll never understand.

But she is a good author, better than me, and give those two fics a read, for me and her. I hate hearing how upset she gets, because it makes me upset that this is the only real way I can help my good friend. We're gonna try a collab, but more should be done. So when you're done here, read, review and fave her please. She is great and I know you'll love her fics, especially if you like GrimmIchi.

She's very descrpitive and she knows full well that fanfictions aren't all about sex, like me. As you all know I didn't originally set out on doing yaoi here. But things changed, and I'm greatful for all of you. I know I hardly ask for much, and I'm not planning on leaving this site, but please, do me this one favor and read her stuff, fave her and her stories please.

It's all I ask of you. Even if it costs me readers and reviews, please. Her author name is 8DRainbowManVan8D


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